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simplicitywaits [userpic]


27th May 2007 (17:25)

current mood: stressed

Do your parents respect your opinions? Your decisions?
Because you're well lucky if they do.
See, mine don't seem to.
They don't want me to go to the college that I want to go to because, if I choose to do what they want me to do, a Hairdressing Apprentiship, I'll get paid each week. Just about £70 ish.
I've just had a big 'dicussion' with my mom and dad.
And my dad's just saying I should go to the interview for the hairdressing apprentiship as a backup - even though that isn't what I want to do with my life.
Whereas my mum is trying to force me to take it, and even though she's saying its because of the same reasons my dad wants me to go, but it's all about the money. Her excuse is that she doubts I'll even get a chance with this college I want to go to, when near enough all of my friends all ready go there, and the rest are going next year, when I'm planning on going. They've all told me it's easy to get in.

But just because I havent had a reply in about a week, she's decided I wont get in.

I've had enough of her trying to re-live her life through mine.
Im sick of it.
And if she's that concerned about money, then I'm absoloutley fine about leaving, and moving out.
But I know as soon as I say that to her, she'll go off on one about me acting childish.
How the fuck is that childish!?

I really hate her so much right now.

simplicitywaits [userpic]


18th May 2007 (15:26)

current location: bedroom
current mood: tired
current song: paramore - brighter

are all starting up this week.
ive already sat some science exams and my art exam
but on wednesday i had an hour and a half of media studies, yesterday i had two hours of religious studies and today i had another hour and a half of media studies.
im completely shattered!
its my official last day at school on monday!
theres gonna be some major prankssss :)! haha
and i have even more exams next week and the week after.
my last exam is on the 14th of june, so hopefully that will come as soon as possible.

i just get to spend the whole weekend revising for english and learning loads of completely new crap for history that he randomly decided to spring on us, and not actually teach us.
i dont know a thing about florence bloody nightingale! ><!

oh well.

im still waiting for the college to send me a letter back confirming an interview with them or something..
and i have to call up the guy that owns a hairdressers i was going to do an apprentiship at and tell him that i dont want it anymore, but he's in austrailia. so i have to wait.
and i still have to call the other college to tell them i dont want to go to their interview anymore.

i have this feeling that at the end of it all, im gonna end up without a college placement.. -_-
god sake..

well, i bought my prom ticket today though.
so i guess thats a good thing?
117th to buy one.
but we still have no transport.
and my dress isn't even made yet.
i went today to have the top part fitted and stuff, and im supposed to be going back on the 5th of june to have my first fitting.
but my prom's on the 28th and im worried it wont be ready in time! =/!

and im sooooo tired.
did i already say that?
*loud sigh*

simplicitywaits [userpic]

so far

5th May 2007 (22:10)

current location: my room
current mood: tired
current song: dallas green - day old hate

this weekend's going pretty well, and monday's a bankholiday so its an extra long one :)

but its only saturday and im already completely shattered!
last night was good.
beach party :D
and then springbreak skatefest today (:
followed by me and my best mate sat in my garden with wine and chocolate, and then a bbq with her, my mom, dad and my moms mates sons (:

i've cheered up loads since thursday, its funny what random long chats with your best mates can do
well, not really.. its pretty obvious, but yeah.
s'all good :D

i reckon im'a go to bed in a bit, even if it is only quater past 10!
long lye in tommorow, im thinking (:

and i applied to a college yesterday!
so wish me luck an' all that yeah? :)!


simplicitywaits [userpic]


3rd May 2007 (16:51)

current location: my room
current mood: listless
current song: dallas green

i thought i'd get one of these things..
not on the basis that i want people to read it, because i highly doubt anybody will actually see this page.
but its just a way for me to get things out of my head.
i tried the pen and paper way, but it just didn't work :)

so here i am.

today's just one of those days where everything's just annoying, and you wanna be alone.
i guess i just woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something, because im just on a complete downer, and i hate it.
im just sick and tired of feeling as if i have to explain myself to everyone, because i really don't have to.
people pretend to understand me, and act as if they know exactly how im feeling, which is pretty much impossible, seeing as i, myself don't even have a clue how i feel most of the time. which is pretty shit, but what can ya do?
i dont know.. sometimes i just wish that there was someone i could talk to and just let loose everything, but i don't know how to do that. i don't know how to let people in, because i know that one way or the other, i'll just end up getting hurt, or worse, laughed at.
i've been through too much shit in my time, so it's hard for me to trust people. which means now'a days people get pissed that i don't tell them everything. like my best friend.
most of the time i feel like i'm being judged by her, and i know i shouldn't.. but i constantly feel like i have to explain myself to her. like, why i didnt show up for school. why i'm not fucking over the moon every single day. why i'm being quiet.
okay, fair enough, they are simple questions that should have simple answers, but they don't have simple answers. and how am i supposed to explain that to someone that always wants an answer, straight away? i can't.

im just ranting now.
and i've completely lost track of what i was origionally on about, so i may aswell just leave it at that for now.

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